anneal
[uh-NEEL]
verb
To toughen or temper.
A yearlong obsession with clothespins annealed her nipples to two unfeeling entities.
plangent
[PLAN-juhnt]
adjective
Expressing sadness.
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lucent
[LOO-suhnt]
adjective
Shining.
I’ll tell you what a nice Christmas gift would be: wear those lucent panties of yours while you make me a grilled cheese.
hermitage
/ˈhɜrmɪtɪdʒ/
noun
1 the habitation of a hermit. 2 a secluded residence…
renege
[rih-NIG]
intransitive verb
To go back on a promise.
Our friend managed to renege on a series of eBay deals for his girlfriend’s well worn panties, burning bridges with weird fuckers all over town.
osculation
[os-kyuh-ley-shuhn]
noun
The act of kissing.
Charlie Sheen’s new internet “show” was mildly entertaining, but I could have done without the constant osculation with those whores of his.
lachrymose
[lak-ruh-mohs]
adjective
Given to shedding tears readily.
Here’s a great idea for that lachrymose sumbitch John Boehner: tears of Boehner bath salts.