anneal

[uh-NEEL]

verb

To toughen or temper.

A yearlong obsession with clothespins annealed her nipples to two unfeeling entities.

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plangent

[PLAN-juhnt]

adjective

Expressing sadness.

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lucent

[LOO-suhnt]

adjective

Shining.

I’ll tell you what a nice Christmas gift would be: wear those lucent panties of yours while you make me a grilled cheese.

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hermitage

/ˈhɜrmɪtɪdʒ/

noun

1 the habitation of a hermit. 2 a secluded residence…

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renege

[rih-NIG]

intransitive verb

To go back on a promise.

Our friend managed to renege on a series of eBay deals for his girlfriend’s well worn panties, burning bridges with weird fuckers all over town.

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osculation

[os-kyuh-ley-shuhn]

noun

The act of kissing.

Charlie Sheen’s new internet “show” was mildly entertaining, but I could have done without the constant osculation with those whores of his.

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lachrymose

[lak-ruh-mohs]

adjective

Given to shedding tears readily.

Here’s a great idea for that lachrymose sumbitch John Boehner: tears of Boehner bath salts.

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