casuistry

[KAZH-oo-uh-stree]

noun

Specious, deceptive, or oversubtle reasoning.

Google and Verizon’s little “we’ll opt to be regulated by regulation we wrote ourselves” manifesto is fucking casuistry on a grand scale.

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importune

To request or solicit, with urgency.

Too poor to pay, and too proud to importune, the lonely-hearted Hannah could not attain her elusive orgasm by means other than her own hands.

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bloviate

[BLOH-vee-ayt]

verb

To speak or write at length in a pompous or boastful manner.

Dear Fox News, pay me half of what those other old farts get and I’ll bloviate and scream about whatever the fuck you want.

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ramshackle

[ram-shak-uhl]

adjective

Loosely made or held together; rickety; shaky.

Donate some fucking money to the Red Cross and help restore Haiti to its old ramshackle glory.

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iota

[eye-OH-tuh]

noun

A very small quantity or degree; a jot; a bit.

I only do coke when I know I’m not getting laid because one iota of that shit and my cock goes limp.

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cicatrix

[sik-uh-triks]

noun

New tissue that forms over a wound and later contracts into a scar.

That giant cicatrix on Padma Lakshmi’s arm is oddly attractive to me.

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frisson

[free-SOHN]

noun

A moment of intense excitement; a shudder; an emotional thrill.

My roommate caught me fapping to youporn, and let me tell you…

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