tortuous

[TOR-choo-us]

adjective

Marked by repeated turns and bends.

During Sarah Palin’s tortuous speech about how great America is and all that bullshit, I kept trying to imagine if she was completely shaved or not.

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tetchy

[TECH-ee]

adjective

Peevish; testy; irritable.

Jersey Shore’s JWOWW (short for Jenni Farley) is a big-busted, tetchy bitch whose penchant for thick-soled shoes is quite distracting.

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scapegrace

[SKAYP-grayss]

noun

A reckless, unprincipled person.

She was a total fucking scapegrace: unemployed, slept around, had a tramp stamp…

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biddable

[BID-uh-buhl]

adjective

Easily led or commanded; obedient.

The dominatrix called her four o’clock, a biddable man with a desk job, to tell him she couldn’t make it today.

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deadpan

[DED-pan]

adjective

Displaying no emotional or personal involvement.

“I just told you I fellated your brother and all you have is that fucking deadpan look on your face!”

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kismet

[KIZ-met]

noun

Destiny; fate.

Never be the rebound guy. It’s kismet that whomever you’re banging will end up back with their ex.

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quisling

[KWIZ-ling]

noun

A traitor.

According to Fox News, anyone who serves a bearded man is a quisling, and should be fucking shot.

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