quandary
[KWAHN-duh-ree]
noun
A state of difficulty, perplexity, doubt, or uncertainty.
It’d have been less of a quandary if it weren’t for the fact that I was stark naked, and had vomited all over my iPhone.
tractable
[TRAK-tuh-buhl]
adjective
Easily handled, managed, or worked; malleable.
Priests love young, innocent children because they’re tractable and can be taught that God will hate them if they tell anyone about touching Jesus’ “favorite place.
quisling
[KWIZ-ling]
noun
A traitor.
According to Fox News, anyone who serves a bearded man is a quisling, and should be fucking shot.
rubric
[ROO-brik]
noun
Any established mode of conduct or procedure.
Now that Craigslist’s Adult Services section is gone, our best rubric for finding cheap pussy and cock is actually speaking to people in bars.
pharmacopeia
[fahr-muh-kuh-pee-uh]
noun
A stock of drugs.
Tempted as I was after my dealer received a pharmacopeia from Mexico City, I stuck to pot…
gastronome
[GAS-truh-nohm]
noun
A connoisseur of good food and drink.
Kevin Smith refers to himself as a “gastronome,” while the staff at Southwest Airlines refer to him as “fat fuck.
machination
[mack-uh-NAY-shuhn]
noun
The act of plotting.
I realized very fucking quickly that his “Video Email Technology” was a machination for a pyramid scheme.