epicene
[EP-uh-seen]
adjective
Having the characteristics of both sexes.
Though she advertised herself as a genuine woman, the whore’s epicene features and slight penis bulge said otherwise.
canorous
[kuh-NOR-us]
adjective
Richly melodious.
My wife calls the birds who sing in the morning “canorous…
tutelary
Having the guardianship or charge of protecting a person or a thing.
Stephanie was the tutelary spirit guiding her 10th grade class; navigating the youngsters through the annals of history, math and a thing called cultural studies…
nadir
[NAY-dir; nay-DIR]
noun
The lowest point.
Sucking off a guy for a pair of concert tickets in the parking lot of Winn-Dixie was the nadir of Crystal’s life.
salient
[SAY-lee-unt]
adjective
Forcing itself on the attention; prominent; noticeable.
She asked me what I thought the most salient feature of a woman was, so I told her a nice smile…
perambulate
To walk through or over; traversing.
Christ Almighty. Just think that Ted Williams is out there, one Mac n’ Cheese ad under his belt, drunk as a skunk and perambulating the streets.
orison
[AWR-uh-zuhn]
noun
A prayer.
Before takeoff, let’s say an orison and pray that we don’t get a piss drunk pilot.