bloviate
[BLOH-vee-ayt]
verb
To speak or write at length in a pompous or boastful manner.
Dear Fox News, pay me half of what those other old farts get and I’ll bloviate and scream about whatever the fuck you want.
lineament
[LIN-ee-uh-muhnt]
noun
A distinctive shape, contour, or line, especially of the face.
He had a deep lineament that ran down the middle of his head…
nonpariel
[non-puh-REL]
adjective
Having no equal; peerless.
He believed his cock to be nonpareil. I, however, am in disagreement.
lupine
Wolfish; ravenous, predatory.
The man sat alone in his childhood tree fort, crosslegged and in complete darkness. His presence betrayed only by the moonlight reflected by his lupine eyes…
lucre
[loo-ker]
noun
monetary reward or gain; money.
Any moron can put some scratch together working the nine to five, but the real lucre is on Wall Street.
chortle
[CHOR-tl]
verb
To utter, or express with, a snorting, exultant laugh or chuckle.
This big bastard sitting behind us chortled when he overheard my girlfriend tell me about her affair with her doorman.
uxorious
[uk-SOR-ee-us]
adjective
Excessively fond of or submissive to a wife.
All I did to make my husband more uxorious was threaten to tell his coworkers that he once begged me to use a strap-on on him.