opuscule

[oh-PUHS-kyool]

noun

A small or minor work.

Little did I know that Lydia from OKcupid’s opuscule happened to be my favorite 80’s porno: Inside Lydia’s Ass.

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decry

/dɪˈkraɪ/

verb

1 to cry down. 2 to censure as faulty, mean, or worthless…

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divest

[dih-vest]

verb (used with object)

To rid of or free from.

After my whore of an ex filed for divorce, I knew it was just a matter of time before her lawyers divested me of my house, car, and children.

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transmogrify

[trans-MOG-ruh-fy]

verb

To change into a different shape or to transform.

If you want a real magic show, just stick a marshmellow in a microwave and watch it transmogrify into the fucking Michelin man.

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novation

[noh-VEY-shuhn]

noun

The introduction of something new; innovation.

I don’t stay that up to date with everything, but I haven’t seen novation in the sex industry since the fleshlight.

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churlish

Rude; cross-grained; ungracious; surly; illiberal.

The date with Kristy had been going so well for Lawrence that he thought changing venues from bar to bedroom would be a simple maneuver…

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variegated

[VAIR-ee-uh-gay-tid]

adjective

Having marks or patches of different colors.

My local pot shop here in Boulder, Colorado has every variegated strain of weed imaginable.

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