certitude
/ˈsɜrtɪˌtud/
noun
1 freedom from doubt. 2 assurance. 3 certainty.
Congressman Anthony Weiner “couldn’t say with certitude” that the picture of an engorged cock tweeted by his account was a picture of his cock…
hermitage
/ˈhɜrmɪtɪdʒ/
noun
1 the habitation of a hermit. 2 a secluded residence…
quandary
[KWAHN-duh-ree]
noun
A state of difficulty, perplexity, doubt, or uncertainty.
It’d have been less of a quandary if it weren’t for the fact that I was stark naked, and had vomited all over my iPhone.
perforce
[pur-FORS]
adverb
By necessity; by force of circumstance.
I’m not one for a God damned horror movie, but by the time the third act of The Human Centipede rolls around you’ll perforce cover your eyes and cry like a girl.
mellow
/ˈmɛloʊ/
adjective
1 a well matured. b softened by years…
consanguineous
[kon-san(g)-GWIN-ee-us]
adjective
Of the same blood; related by birth.
Had I known about our consanguineous relation, I’d probably have opted not to impregnate her.
Read more about consanguineous
impecunious
[im-pih-KYOO-nee-uhs]
adjective
Not having money; habitually without money; poor.
That impecunious cunt Lohan will probably end up profiting off of her having to serve time.