quondam
[KWAHN-dam]
adjective
Having been formerly; former.
A quondam pornstar, she spent thousands reconstructing her worn-out vagina.
tawdry
[TAW-dree]
adjective
Gaudy, showy and cheap.
I like the pubic hair shaped into an arrow pointing at your hoohaw, but don’t you think it’s a bit tawdry?
fain
[FEYN]
adverb
Gladly; willingly. adjective. Content; willing.
I would fain have gone with him to the LOLcats themed orgy, but it required that I not shave any part of my body for three months prior to the event.
tractable
[TRAK-tuh-buhl]
adjective
Easily handled, managed, or worked; malleable.
Priests love young, innocent children because they’re tractable and can be taught that God will hate them if they tell anyone about touching Jesus’ “favorite place.
docent
A tour guide at a museum, art gallery, historical site, etc.
“Today we are the lucky recipients of a private, after-hours tour,” Ed said, as he knocked on the ‘staff only’ door at the back of the Natural History Muesum…
exalt
[ig-ZOLT]
verb
To praise, glorify, or honor.
During the holidays my family and I pretend to exalt a few of the Greek gods, just to piss off the Christian assholes next door.
chide
To express disapproval of; scold.
I felt the need to chide her sexual past, but I guess virgins aren’t that bad.