vesuvian

[vuh-SOO-vee-uhn]

adjective

Volcanic; of, pertaining to, or resembling Mount Vesuvius.

I find that an early morning jerk off results in a more vesuvian orgasm.

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scrutinize

/ˈskrutnˌaɪz/

verb

To examine something with great care.

Jacob’s penis was so small and shriveled, the urge to scrutinize it was irresistible to the women that encountered it for the first time.

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lyceum

A house or apartment appropriated to instruction by lectures or disquisitions.

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opuscule

[oh-PUHS-kyool]

noun

A small or minor work.

Little did I know that Lydia from OKcupid’s opuscule happened to be my favorite 80’s porno: Inside Lydia’s Ass.

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decry

/dɪˈkraɪ/

verb

1 to cry down. 2 to censure as faulty, mean, or worthless…

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divest

[dih-vest]

verb (used with object)

To rid of or free from.

After my whore of an ex filed for divorce, I knew it was just a matter of time before her lawyers divested me of my house, car, and children.

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transmogrify

[trans-MOG-ruh-fy]

verb

To change into a different shape or to transform.

If you want a real magic show, just stick a marshmellow in a microwave and watch it transmogrify into the fucking Michelin man.

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