tortuous
[TOR-choo-us]
adjective
Marked by repeated turns and bends.
During Sarah Palin’s tortuous speech about how great America is and all that bullshit, I kept trying to imagine if she was completely shaved or not.
smite
/smaɪt/
verb
1 a to strike. b to inflict a blow upon with the hand, or with any instrument held in the hand, or with a missile thrown by the hand…
fatuous
[FACH-oo-uhs]
adjective
Stupid.
Is Trump fatuous? No. Is he a conceited prick who was handed a big inheritance? Yep.
lucent
[LOO-suhnt]
adjective
Shining.
I’ll tell you what a nice Christmas gift would be: wear those lucent panties of yours while you make me a grilled cheese.
ersatz
Made in imitation; artificial.
I don’t care what these fast food companies tell me about their food being “real.” It’s ersatz junk that a fucking mule wouldn’t eat if it had a brain.
erudite
[er-yoo-dahyt]
adjective
Characterized by great knowledge; learned or scholarly.
“You can’t send out a bestiality video link one minute and act all erudite the next…
perambulate
To walk through or over; traversing.
Christ Almighty. Just think that Ted Williams is out there, one Mac n’ Cheese ad under his belt, drunk as a skunk and perambulating the streets.