abstemious
[ab-stee-mee-uhs]
adjective
Characterized by abstinence.
Christine O’Donnell, the muppet version of Rachel Ray, has lived an abstemious life: one devoid of masturbation, sex, and reason.
regnant
[REG-nuhnt]
adjective
Prevalent; widespread.
Who’s the biggest gaffe-machine regnant, Joe “Fuck” Biden or BP’s CEO Tony “Food Poisoning” Hayward?
supernumerary
Exceeding a necessary, usual, or required number or quality.
After many years of hoofing in the Las Vegas lights, a battle hardened Shalanda returned to the Bunny Ranch and became a supernumerary presence at the brothel…
quagmire
[KWAG-myr]
noun
A difficult or precarious position or situation; a predicament.
Had your cat not ingested an ounce of nip, we wouldn’t be in this goddamned quagmire.
bumptious
[BUMP-shuhs]
adjective
Crudely, presumptuously, or loudly self-assertive.
What they mistook for my bumptious attitude was just the Ritalin talking.
sanctum
A sacred place; A place of retreat.
The shitter is my only sanctum these days.
confute
[kuhn-FYOOT]
trans
verb. To overwhelm by argument.
There’s no way to confute your partner into a Donkey Punch…