agrestic

[uh-GRES-tik]

adjective

Pertaining to fields or the country; rural; rustic.

I’ll tell ya, if I had acne, no income, and lived in the agrestic part of the country, I’d probably join up with a crazy fucking militia too.

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crux

[KROO-seez]

noun

The basic, central, or critical point or feature.

The crux of the tea party movement is that the overweight, brain dead fools who make shit for money are pro-corporation.

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expatiate

/ɪkˈspeɪ ʃiˌeɪt/

verb

1 a to enlarge in discourse or writing…

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ectype

[EK-tahyp]

noun

A reproduction; copy.

The little prick sold us ectypes. What ecstasy pills do you know of that say, “Excedrin?!?!!”

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popinjay

[POP-in-jay]

noun

A vain and talkative person.

I don’t care for Gossip Girl. Too many popinjays–all walkin’ around discussing total bullshit.

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uxorious

[uk-SOR-ee-us]

adjective

Excessively fond of or submissive to a wife.

All I did to make my husband more uxorious was threaten to tell his coworkers that he once begged me to use a strap-on on him.

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iota

[eye-OH-tuh]

noun

A very small quantity or degree; a jot; a bit.

I only do coke when I know I’m not getting laid because one iota of that shit and my cock goes limp.

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