enthrall

[en-THRAWL]

verb

To captivate or charm.

I was enthralled by Sarah Palin’s last speech not because she had important or meaningful things to say, but because she’s a fucking dullard with a pair of tits.

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panacea

My grandfather once told me that scotch was a panacea for his miserable life.

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abscond

[ab-SKOND]

intrans

verb. To depart secretly; to steal away and hide oneself.

Little did I know that my craigslist hookup absconded with my prized, late-renaissance chess board.

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obdurate

[OB-duh-rit]

adjective

Resistant to persuasion; unyielding.

If it weren’t for our blind consumerism most people would hate us obdurate Americans.

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vesuvian

[vuh-SOO-vee-uhn]

adjective

Volcanic; of, pertaining to, or resembling Mount Vesuvius.

I find that an early morning jerk off results in a more vesuvian orgasm.

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puckish

[PUHK-ish]

adjective

Whimsical; mischievous; impish.

Cops are raiding Charlie Sheen’s blow-filled house? What will that puckish, lovable guy do next?

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wiseacre

One who makes undue pretensions to wisdom.

For years and years, successive generations of Trumps lived up to their reputation as low-life wiseacres. They were always smarter and faster and stronger than the next guy they would proclaim to all that could hear…

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