absquatulate

[ab-skwoch-uh-leyt]

verb

To flee; abscond.

Steven Slater’s grand departure on the emergency slide wouldn’t have been so fucking cool if he didn’t also absquatulate with a six pack of beer.

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feculent

[fek-yuh-luhnt]

adjective

Full of dregs or fecal matter; foul, turbid, or muddy.

The Shit My Dad Says premiere was the most feculent moment in television since those piss-drunk queers at ABC greenlit a show about Geico Cavemen.

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perdition

[per-DISH-uhn]

noun

Hell.

I can’t wait till those ghoulish assholes at Westboro Baptist Church stage their last protest at the gates of perdition.

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crux

[KROO-seez]

noun

The basic, central, or critical point or feature.

The crux of the tea party movement is that the overweight, brain dead fools who make shit for money are pro-corporation.

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extirpate

/ˈɛk stərˌpeɪt/

verb

1 to cut out by surgery. 2 a to pluck up by the stem or root…

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kismet

[KIZ-met]

noun

Destiny; fate.

Never be the rebound guy. It’s kismet that whomever you’re banging will end up back with their ex.

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panache

[puh-NASH]

noun

Dash or flamboyance in manner or style.

Kawal the Sikh thought his turban added panache to his giant head and Prada eyeglasses.

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