abscond

[ab-SKOND]

intrans

verb. To depart secretly; to steal away and hide oneself.

Little did I know that my craigslist hookup absconded with my prized, late-renaissance chess board.

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inveigle

[in-VAY-guhl]

trans

verb. To obtain by ingenuity or flattery.

I tried to inveigle her into my bed with promises of cocaine, but she knew I wasn’t holding.

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multifarious

[muhl-tuh-FAIR-ee-uhs]

adjective

Having great diversity or variety; of various kinds; diversified.

A multifarious sexual repertoire is required if one wants to keep his or her mate from fleeing the nest.

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discourse

/ˈdɪskɔrs/

noun

1 a conversation. b talk. 2 the art and manner of speaking and conversing…

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consanguineous

[kon-san(g)-GWIN-ee-us]

adjective

Of the same blood; related by birth.

Had I known about our consanguineous relation, I’d probably have opted not to impregnate her.

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vespertine

[VES-per-tin]

adjective

Of, pertaining to, or occurring in the evening.

Luckily for me, my coke habit was largely vespertine in nature, and my coworkers didn’t have so much as a clue.

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prink

[PRINGK]

trans

/intrans. verb. To dress up; to deck for show.

I can understand the need to prink the pubic region, but what’s up with applying sequins to your groin?

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