feign
[FEYN]
verb
To make believe; pretend.
My husband feigned the straight life for years…
aplomb
[uh-PLOM]
noun
Assurance of manner or of action; confidence; coolness.
Bryan sucked cock with the aplomb of a fucking Oreck XL.
quagmire
[KWAG-myr]
noun
A difficult or precarious position or situation; a predicament.
Had your cat not ingested an ounce of nip, we wouldn’t be in this goddamned quagmire.
harridan
[HAIR-uh-din]
noun
A worn-out strumpet; a vixenish woman; a hag.
It’s sad when you see harridans still working the strip cub scene.
empyrean
[em-py-REE-uhn]
adjective
Of or pertaining to the empyrean of ancient belief.
My Aunt always comes over and tries to teach my children about her empyrean belief system involving drinking “blood” and telling old men in robes your secrets.
schmaltz
Excessively sentimental, especially with art and music.
Jessie was sucker for funny guys that could make her laugh without resorting to excessive schmaltz. She was also extremely lonely…
sough
[SAU]
noun
A soft, low rustling or sighing sound.
I always make sure I shit before sex…